You are driving down the road marked 55 mph when you come upon a car only going 45. It’s a double solid line, but when you are able to pass you look over and see an older person driving. You go on your way fuming about older drivers when all of a sudden it hits you….that person was the age of your father.
So, when is it time to take the keys from your aging parent? Is there even a particular age? The answer to when the time is right has many factors:
- How do you feel about their driving?
- Are they getting too close to other drivers?
- Do they wander in the lane?
- Do they have trouble judging distance?
- Are there medical conditions that could interfere with their driving?
- Do you notice dings, dents or scrapes on their vehicle?
- Are they expressing any fears or concerns about driving?
- Have their reaction times slowed?
- Do they seem to have a hard time concentrating and focusing?
- Have they gotten lost going to a familiar place?
When Should You Take Away Your Parents Car Keys?
There are many opinions out there about when or if you should take your elderly parents keys away. One common opinion is that every person over a certain age should be required to re-take their driving test.
Opinions are fine, but when it is your parent you need more than an opinion. Answers to the questions above can help you determine when is the right time for you and your aging parents. But ultimately, how do you start the conversation? What do you look for?
According to statistics almost 80% of older drivers are involved in some form of accident. Here are some things you can do.
- Go on a ride with your aging parent.
- Follow behind him/her while they are driving.
While doing these things:
- Check for their reaction time.
- Can stay in a lane or are they all over the place?
- Do they get confused or,
- Any of the other items on the listed above as they specifically pertain to driving.
Taking The Keys Away
Taking the keys leads to a multitude of issues that need to be addressed before the conversation is held.
Parents who are living on their own will have to be given options to keep them mobile…
- bus schedule
- possible agencies that will come and take them shopping (such as Premier Services for Life)
- family members who will be able to assist with continued mobility
Or maybe the question is; are they still able to live on their own? If not, what are the options?
NO ONE wants to feel like they are no longer capable. So before all this takes place, as a family, plan a conversation with your parent/s about when will be the best time to take the keys.
A Final Guide To Follow
Here is a final guide to help you address this area:
- Meet with all family members before talking with your parents.
- Discuss the concerns you have observed, available options and what the best way to bring up the conversation is.
- Decide who will be leading the discussion.
- Will you leave it up to one or some or all of the siblings?
- Start the dialogue by expressing your concerns.
- Suggest the driver limits you fell are best, such as, no driving at night or avoid long trips.
- Review any medical issues that could diminish their reflexes, vision or stress levels if they are under a Doctor’s care on an ongoing basis. (You would want to check with their primary care physician, for any medical problems they feel that could hinder their driving ability before the family meeting).
- Decide when is the best time to surrender the keys/car, while helping them to understand why it is necessary.
When to take the keys is not the same for everyone. Some older adults can safely drive into their 90s while others may need to stop driving at a much younger age.
Put yourself in their shoes and then act as you would want to be treated.
Remember you parents still think of themselves as young!